Cue the Theme song to M*A*S*H

Yesterday actor David Carradine was found dead in his Bangkok hotel room. By all accounts this sounds like it was an auto-erotic asphyxiation death, although there are some reports stating his hands were tied as well which could place someone else in the room. If he was alone you have wonder why anyone would choose auto-erotic asphyxiation over Bangkok’s infamous night life. Women ( or men/ladyboy’s if that’s your thing) trump choking yourself with rope while masturbating any day.

I’m not trying to make humor out of a senseless death but there seems to be a problem here.

Falangs (foreigners) die a lot in Thailand and not by natural causes. Some overdose, some like to take small jumps off of big buildings and then there are the ones who hang themselves. Last year the Thai police were alerted to a mans head dangling off of Rama VIII bridge. At first they thought it was a murder but eventually it turned out to be a badly planned suicide…rope too long…man too fat…leaves a head on a rope and blood everywhere.

What is it about Thailand that drives falangs to their death? Certainly there are the falang that have come to the kingdom to live out their utopian dreams with just enough money to give them 5 years or so which is just about as much time to make sure they can’t go home easily and when they run out of money they pull a jumper or hang themselves.

But there are also cases of men who seem to be very happy, have money, have a good relationship and they are found hanging or jumping or overdosing. Sometimes they are murders but more often than not they are suicides.

These deaths shouldn’t be confused with  the fools that come to Thailand in search of marathon sex and pop a handful of viagra and wash it down with 10 beers, they find out soon enough just how stiff viagra can make you. Then there are the men that think it would be a great idea to rent a large motorcycle in Bangkok or Pattaya, I guess they think they look cool but all the pictures of the inevitable accidents I’ve seen suggest differently. Hard to look cool when being picked up off the pavement with a shovel and poured into a plastic bag.

Like moths to a flame Thailand draws many men each year to their death. I’m not sure about tourist statistics world wide but I would venture to guess that Thailand ranks high up on the list for tourist and expat deaths. Maybe there should be a huge warning label plastered across Suvarnabhumi Airport stating: “ Men, Thailand can be hazardous to your health“. Yes, I said men! When was the last time you read about a female tourist or expat offing herself, overdosing on sex related drugs or wrecking a sport bike in Thailand?

As a man I can attest to the strength of Thailands draw but I don’t think I’ll be offing myself anytime soon and if you’re a man that’s been to, plans to go to,  or lives in Thailand you shouldn’t either. Nothing is ever so bad that you have to kill yoursef.

No one knows the complete circumstances of David carradines death yet but his name will be added to the long list of falang that off themselves in the big mango every year.It seems paradise also has an ugly side and many a man has fallen into it’s grasp.